nostalgia...


nostalgia worries me...i recently saw an old friend who despite making a very good living felt the need to overpay for an old video game system, it's games, and toys from the early 80's. i suppose the memories from such times ( our youth into early adulthood ) is a fond memory for many. we were young, felt indestructible, and the future was as wide open as the sky.

nearing, ( or in the doorway of ) middle age is a stark reminder that we're all very mortal. that our physical and mental best is now falling further behind us and that any change we are willing to make, now carry along consequences of others beside our own little bubble. loved ones, children, and significant others who we are invested in all carry some toll to a whimsical decision.

I honestly feel that nostalgia for times past is as best, a bad idea. the need to reach back as if cassette tapes days without the internet were better than compact discs and having to dig for information through archives in a library.

the times weren't better, but the youth was better.

i often find myself wanting to just close my account of social networking sites simply because if i haven't spoken with anyone in the last 15 years why would i want to speak with them now? not so oddly, these sites have become amazingly popular with people almost addicted to them. i like to leave memories as just that. a picture in my head, that by human nature i can edit, delete, and modify anything i want inside of my head which allows these perceptions to be in a case of constant flux.

we all would like to have acted differnetly in our past, maybe make different choices. This however is not possible and to hold onto the past is more or less saying that we've run out of good ideas.

to quote bill hicks: "this is just a ride". nothing could be more true. people i've grown up with are hovering just below or just above 40 and that's a scary place to be. the liquid cement has begun to thicken...we had it, now we've lost it and the future is going to push on without us.